The longer one gave me enough details that I wanted to see the first 3 chapters. The first one was too generic -- it didn't give me enough detail to make me interested in the story.
Do you have to describe the woman as beautiful? It seemed redundant. Of course, I don't write, so maybe you need the adjective for the heroine.
7 comments:
I like the second(longer version} better
Kelly
I agree, I like the second version better as well. It makes me want those first three chapters.
The longer one gave me enough details that I wanted to see the first 3 chapters. The first one was too generic -- it didn't give me enough detail to make me interested in the story.
Do you have to describe the woman as beautiful? It seemed redundant. Of course, I don't write, so maybe you need the adjective for the heroine.
Ann
ditto to all the above.
Longer one works.
Thank you all. Zinreads, good point.
Now I have to work on the longer one. I don't like how it sounds yet, the words need to change a bit.
Longer one, definitely. I want it now. Forget the first three chapters. All of it.
Jennifer K. ;)
WOOHOO, an acceptance of my query letter already!! Thank you Jennifer! LOL
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