Monday, February 25, 2008

Writing a query...what do you think?

Thank you for you help. Post taken down for professional reasons. Feb. 27

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I like the second(longer version} better

Kelly

Anonymous said...

I agree, I like the second version better as well. It makes me want those first three chapters.

zinreads said...

The longer one gave me enough details that I wanted to see the first 3 chapters. The first one was too generic -- it didn't give me enough detail to make me interested in the story.

Do you have to describe the woman as beautiful? It seemed redundant. Of course, I don't write, so maybe you need the adjective for the heroine.

Ann

Anonymous said...

ditto to all the above.

Longer one works.

Gail said...

Thank you all. Zinreads, good point.

Now I have to work on the longer one. I don't like how it sounds yet, the words need to change a bit.

Jennifer said...

Longer one, definitely. I want it now. Forget the first three chapters. All of it.

Jennifer K. ;)

Gail said...

WOOHOO, an acceptance of my query letter already!! Thank you Jennifer! LOL