Thursday, June 26, 2008

Computers - they have a plan to deal with humans.

I have three computers. Does that sound excessive? It does to me. I don’t want three. One that works properly would be nice. I'm suspecting these three of artificial intelligence and sinister intentions. They have personalities.

The oldest is a basic desk pc. It’s slow and has ticks, functioning with a distinctly grumpy attitude. On this computer, Internet Explorer does not function at all. However, I can get online with other providers. Sometimes Windows Control panel stops working and has to close. That makes it difficult to change programs, but I can work in whatever is open when the failure occurs. Grumpy refuses to load voice recognition software.

Computer two is a chubby, old laptop. Heavy and a little loud, he refuses to see any wireless network at all. I know the wireless is functioning in the house, chubby laptop insists Windows can not configure it. He accepted the voice recognition software though.

Computer three is a light little laptop that is the most spoiled bit of plastic and motherboard you every saw. She came with Vista so has a voice recognition program and will NOT accept any other voice recognition program. Her program works at a twenty percent correct rate. Very bad.

She has an internal partition for backing up and her system requires back up to function. The partitioned space is too small so the computer stopped working. I had to buy her an external hard drive to back up too

The mouse indicator disappears when she gets hot. So I bought a cool pad for her. Mouse worked fine for four days. Because of the jump in electric costs we have not turned on the AC yet. Today the princess computer went black screen. I’m assuming it’s the heat and humidity because sometimes she gives me the screen back, but only for a while.

The temperature in north east Ohio has not cracked eighty for three weeks. It’s not that hot!! Yelling this at her does not get a working screen.

At wits end. Must work on computers. Dread trying to get a new one. How do I know it will work? My eye is twitching and I expect other ticks will start soon. Silly, spoiled computer has a hostage, the manuscript I just started.


Anonymous said...

you sound like me! computers always malfunction around me too! hope it works out for you. you could tell the spoiled one it better start to work or you will have to bring in the fans..we'll get it talkin;)

Anonymous said...

Gail about a month ago I sent you a blog entry on this issue. Go to your neighborhood computer store and buy a tower and then have them put on it what you want. Forget windows vista it sucks! Get XP. It will work with voice recognition. If you don't get any satisfaction email me at and I will tell you where to go where you can get a computer at a good price and to your specifications. Stop obsessing about the 3 clunkers you have at home. There is help out there if you will just listen to me. I'm an out of work IT technician so I kinda know what I'm talking about. Later Lucy

Gail said...

You are so right Lucy. Great advice. Workin on that as soon as I can.

byrdloves2read said...

OR you could just get a MAC. Come on over to the fun side. You'll love it. LOL